Much has happened. I celebrated a birthday, I started the house moving process and am half way in the somewhat new place and I became a mom on Dec 2. As the year draws to close, can't help but wonder if next year will be better. They say the RAT year should have been a good one for me as a rat but I am not sure about that. 2 good things came out of it - hubby and baby. All within a space of 3 months.
Mulling over a tough decision now - well 2 tough decisions actually. And am stuck in another moment I can't get out of. Despite tips from 2 friends that say my blog and MSN taglines always seem so morbid. I wish I could day otherwise but I can't as another mini-crisis blows on the horizon. Just my Christmas wish that there be joy, peace and love for all. My best gifts for Xmas are the 2 main people in my life, a family I can finally say is my own. But certainly, Santa (and God) knows what I really would like for Christmas.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
MIRACLES
I am not the most pious or faithful of Christians. My faith journey has never been an easy one. Given the recent developments since 2002, I feel like I have lost my faith or more, I have lost my communion with God. I know He is still watching over me but it seems harder and harder to say 'Thy will be done Lord' because each time I say that, more disasters happen and situations reach calamity levels. Like now. Maybe people will say that I merely testing God but I have been raised with the notion that God helps those who help themselves.
Yet I look at family and friends who have so much passion and faith and feel as if maybe if I pray more or be more fervent and regular in going to church, things will work out for the best. Yet something in me also finds that so wrong, as if I were making use of God.
Of course, there are issues, which some of my closest pals term 'Catholic guilt' which makes it very very hard for me to get back to my faith and to God. I don;t feel worthy at all but then again, all these are created by man.
All I know right now is I am facing a very difficult situation, a big cross and I really hope for a miracle at this very moment or else I really don;t know what else to do.
Lord - where are you? Can you hear me?
Yet I look at family and friends who have so much passion and faith and feel as if maybe if I pray more or be more fervent and regular in going to church, things will work out for the best. Yet something in me also finds that so wrong, as if I were making use of God.
Of course, there are issues, which some of my closest pals term 'Catholic guilt' which makes it very very hard for me to get back to my faith and to God. I don;t feel worthy at all but then again, all these are created by man.
All I know right now is I am facing a very difficult situation, a big cross and I really hope for a miracle at this very moment or else I really don;t know what else to do.
Lord - where are you? Can you hear me?
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Bringing Cheer when the Chips are Down!
A colleague showed this to us last week. Helped me get through a challenging week! Which will carry on for next week....I am still writing though demoralised. The chicks' laughter - simply infectious!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
SOLACE
I should really be working, though it's close to 11pm and I've had a 12 hour day. Deadlines to meet, things to get ready for.Things weighing heavily on my mind. The muggy weather and the rain isn't helping to lift the mood at all.
I've developed a phobia - a phobia for writing. Today more than any other day, I have developed a greater phobia for writing and started pondering even more about work and the direction I am headed. Funny how something that used to bring me solace is something I need solace from. What happens when something you have been told all your life that you are good at, turns out to be a bigger liability? I am feeling that right now.
Work - 6 months going on 7 and I still feel a sense of frustration. A rage at myself. Some situations occurred today alone which has me thinking...pondering. All these feelings festering and all these fears, worries that are sweeping my mind. Have I become a liability? am I becoming redundant? Is it time to move on???
SOLACE...and some clarity and silver lining...always seems so elusive.
I've developed a phobia - a phobia for writing. Today more than any other day, I have developed a greater phobia for writing and started pondering even more about work and the direction I am headed. Funny how something that used to bring me solace is something I need solace from. What happens when something you have been told all your life that you are good at, turns out to be a bigger liability? I am feeling that right now.
Work - 6 months going on 7 and I still feel a sense of frustration. A rage at myself. Some situations occurred today alone which has me thinking...pondering. All these feelings festering and all these fears, worries that are sweeping my mind. Have I become a liability? am I becoming redundant? Is it time to move on???
SOLACE...and some clarity and silver lining...always seems so elusive.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Hanging up the boots
Been ages since I updated. So much has happened since February 2008. So much more will be happening. Today was a day that has left me so frustrated that I want to scream, shout and have all this anguish going on. Work and personal stuff weighing heavily on my mind.
Remember the 'Merry-go-rounds' at the playgrounds and how one is anxious to get off when the neighbourhood bully holds you hostage? I am feeling like that now...someone let me get off. please.
Remember the 'Merry-go-rounds' at the playgrounds and how one is anxious to get off when the neighbourhood bully holds you hostage? I am feeling like that now...someone let me get off. please.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
ENOUGH.
Been crying and on MSN messenger with a guy friend of mine. He didn't make me cry but was trying to comfort me over some comments passed at dinner last night. Haven't slept a wink all night after a friend commented that I look older than the rest of the group. Note I wasn't impressed, since they were all a year older than me.For the love of a very dear friend who was there, I stopped myself from walking away. Didn't want to appear petty or childish. My guy pal's take is I shouldn't have been the passive doormat and let the person get away with such remarks.
Everyone else attributed it to 'Oh, it's her nature', 'You know her' etc. Instead, I feel 'victimised' as I am now made to feel that I am the overly-sensitive person. How can I not be when I am constantly being put down.The person, whether knowingly or otherwise, hit me at the fundamental things that are hurting me very much at this point in my life. People never realise that each of us have our own crosses and burdens to bear in life.
What do I do? Beyond trying to be Christian and forgive that person, maybe it's time to be practical. There's a limit to how much one can take, even if it's comments from a friend.
Everyone else attributed it to 'Oh, it's her nature', 'You know her' etc. Instead, I feel 'victimised' as I am now made to feel that I am the overly-sensitive person. How can I not be when I am constantly being put down.The person, whether knowingly or otherwise, hit me at the fundamental things that are hurting me very much at this point in my life. People never realise that each of us have our own crosses and burdens to bear in life.
What do I do? Beyond trying to be Christian and forgive that person, maybe it's time to be practical. There's a limit to how much one can take, even if it's comments from a friend.
Monday, January 14, 2008
My Japanese Noodle Obesssion
It's a chilly, gray evening. Perfect for a nice bowl of hot noodles. I have over the past couple of months discovered that I am not completely over Japanese ramen. So I am going to steer away from moody, broody, angsty posts and focus on Japanese noodles. Pardon the lack of photos - will get around to that. It's just that we hardly plan to go to these makan joints and it's usually on the fly!
(1) Tsuru Tsuru Tei
B1, Liang Court, inside Meidi-Ya Supermarket
This joint has been around for quite sometime I think. Probably when Daimaru was still at Liang Court. Re-discovered it sometime in 2005 when we started going to Meidi-Ya to grab specialty Japanese ingredients.
Never got around to trying the counter as my parents were not very fond of Japanese food. My early recollections of Japanese food was at the Yaohan cafes in Plaza Singapura and Thomson Plaza. Dad didn't quite have the knack for ordering Japanese food and we stuck to safe things like tempura. One bad episode with Nabeyaki udon was enough to send me off Japanese food until Sakae sushi came along. I still don't DIG nabeyaki udon, by the way.Memories of the udon served on Northwest Airlines' Tokyo-Seattle leg also acted as a deterrent.
Until I chanced on Tsuru Tsuru Tei(T3) of course. It's changed my opinion on udon.They serve my favorite seafood or vegetable kakiage udon. Tried a few at chain stores like Sushi Tei but it just doesn't hit the spot the way that T3's does. They may not have a comprehensive menu but they do udon well. There are also seasonal flavors - a personal fave of mine is ume or plum. Can't quite pin down when they have ume udon but the manager (a friendly bespectacled chap called Philip if I remember correctly) whispered that I could try and request for it. If udon isn't your cuppa, they do have some don(rice) dishes. Though I must confess, I have not tried those at all.
Prices are reasonable - nothing more than $11 per bowl. You can also make your own combinations. Most of the stock is bonito based I think or at least that's what the seafood expert Draks tells me.
(2) Menya Shinchan
Somewhere at Robertson Walk, next to a Thai cafe
I stumbled on this little ramen shop when I was based at the Robertson Quay for Singapore Fashion Week 07. Ended up trying it when the ever popular Miharu was closed. Boy were we pleasantly surprised. 3 visits later, we are still being presently surprised by Menya. What I like about the joint is that the noodles are handmade on site, as are the skins for the gyozas. You can even see the proprietor running from the little room where the dough machine and the kitchen when someone calls out for a gyoza order.
They sure have a wide range of soup bases for their noodles - bonito or pork-based. Even these can be broken down further to various flavors, shoyu (soy sauce), shio(salt) or miso (soy bean paste). Their signature is the shinjiro, a super-duper rich pork broth topped with tones of cabbage and beansprouts (that I only eat stir fried with salted fish). A must try!
(3) Baikohken
Stumbled on this little place one evening after being hounded by the touts along Boat Quay. I'd be really cheesed off if I were a tourist. No wonder they rather go to Clarke Quay! BQ is losing its luster.Like Menya, this is a ramen joint.
The 2 cheerful Japanese 'boys' running the store is a unique sight in Singapore. The eatery is a branch of a family run (presumably since I don't read Japanese) Hokkaido noodle shop. Since it was rather full that night, we got to sit at the counter and watch the noodle maestros at work. Free flow water or iced green tea at the counter.
Again, we tried gyoza. Slightly different from Menya's but liked it anyhow. They had this cute contraption which looked like a waffle iron they they used to cook the gyoza. The noodles - I had a cold noodle bowl, which is real refreshing on a warm evening. Draks had the soup and he was relishing every bit of it. We missed the fresh chopped garlic that comes with Menya's shinjiro though. Baikohken serves it with a freeze-dried Masters garlic.
Prices for all three noodle shops are reasonable for the quality. Expect to pay about $10 - $14 per bowl of noodle. My next mission is to hunt down Ken's Noodle House, which many bloggers say is the best.
(1) Tsuru Tsuru Tei
B1, Liang Court, inside Meidi-Ya Supermarket
This joint has been around for quite sometime I think. Probably when Daimaru was still at Liang Court. Re-discovered it sometime in 2005 when we started going to Meidi-Ya to grab specialty Japanese ingredients.
Never got around to trying the counter as my parents were not very fond of Japanese food. My early recollections of Japanese food was at the Yaohan cafes in Plaza Singapura and Thomson Plaza. Dad didn't quite have the knack for ordering Japanese food and we stuck to safe things like tempura. One bad episode with Nabeyaki udon was enough to send me off Japanese food until Sakae sushi came along. I still don't DIG nabeyaki udon, by the way.Memories of the udon served on Northwest Airlines' Tokyo-Seattle leg also acted as a deterrent.
Until I chanced on Tsuru Tsuru Tei(T3) of course. It's changed my opinion on udon.They serve my favorite seafood or vegetable kakiage udon. Tried a few at chain stores like Sushi Tei but it just doesn't hit the spot the way that T3's does. They may not have a comprehensive menu but they do udon well. There are also seasonal flavors - a personal fave of mine is ume or plum. Can't quite pin down when they have ume udon but the manager (a friendly bespectacled chap called Philip if I remember correctly) whispered that I could try and request for it. If udon isn't your cuppa, they do have some don(rice) dishes. Though I must confess, I have not tried those at all.
Prices are reasonable - nothing more than $11 per bowl. You can also make your own combinations. Most of the stock is bonito based I think or at least that's what the seafood expert Draks tells me.
(2) Menya Shinchan
Somewhere at Robertson Walk, next to a Thai cafe
I stumbled on this little ramen shop when I was based at the Robertson Quay for Singapore Fashion Week 07. Ended up trying it when the ever popular Miharu was closed. Boy were we pleasantly surprised. 3 visits later, we are still being presently surprised by Menya. What I like about the joint is that the noodles are handmade on site, as are the skins for the gyozas. You can even see the proprietor running from the little room where the dough machine and the kitchen when someone calls out for a gyoza order.
They sure have a wide range of soup bases for their noodles - bonito or pork-based. Even these can be broken down further to various flavors, shoyu (soy sauce), shio(salt) or miso (soy bean paste). Their signature is the shinjiro, a super-duper rich pork broth topped with tones of cabbage and beansprouts (that I only eat stir fried with salted fish). A must try!
(3) Baikohken
Stumbled on this little place one evening after being hounded by the touts along Boat Quay. I'd be really cheesed off if I were a tourist. No wonder they rather go to Clarke Quay! BQ is losing its luster.Like Menya, this is a ramen joint.
The 2 cheerful Japanese 'boys' running the store is a unique sight in Singapore. The eatery is a branch of a family run (presumably since I don't read Japanese) Hokkaido noodle shop. Since it was rather full that night, we got to sit at the counter and watch the noodle maestros at work. Free flow water or iced green tea at the counter.
Again, we tried gyoza. Slightly different from Menya's but liked it anyhow. They had this cute contraption which looked like a waffle iron they they used to cook the gyoza. The noodles - I had a cold noodle bowl, which is real refreshing on a warm evening. Draks had the soup and he was relishing every bit of it. We missed the fresh chopped garlic that comes with Menya's shinjiro though. Baikohken serves it with a freeze-dried Masters garlic.
Prices for all three noodle shops are reasonable for the quality. Expect to pay about $10 - $14 per bowl of noodle. My next mission is to hunt down Ken's Noodle House, which many bloggers say is the best.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Landslide
Hilary Clinton beats Barrack Obama in the New Hampshire primaries - landslide on the way? Ladies in front of me talking at the top of their voices, giving me a migraine. I was looking forward to the Toddycats meeting later but my cold hasn't gone away since Xmas eve and well, we have this policy of staying away if we are ill. Rightly so since I don't want to spread my germs.
It's rainy - doesn't help one who is already in a melancholic mood. Today, the inevitable happened. I went in to see my attorney and signed the writ. It stirred up dormant feelings that I had locked away since June 2002. It has opened up uncertainty, of which is homelessness. I have to start hunting for a new place and with my finances tied up in my current home, oh boy, I am not in a happy place. Given the crazy prices of property now, I am stuck. Everyone says I have to get rid of my furballs. How can I? It's cruel and I do not want to add on to the population of unwanted animals in Singapore.
I am feeling numb now, yet a myriad of emotions are coursing through me. Adds to the feeling of rejection I have been feeling since I was informed via email that MINDEF is turning down my job application. Lest I break down in public, I will not elaborate further. The lyrics of the old Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac song says it all.
LANDSLIDE
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too
So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
It's rainy - doesn't help one who is already in a melancholic mood. Today, the inevitable happened. I went in to see my attorney and signed the writ. It stirred up dormant feelings that I had locked away since June 2002. It has opened up uncertainty, of which is homelessness. I have to start hunting for a new place and with my finances tied up in my current home, oh boy, I am not in a happy place. Given the crazy prices of property now, I am stuck. Everyone says I have to get rid of my furballs. How can I? It's cruel and I do not want to add on to the population of unwanted animals in Singapore.
I am feeling numb now, yet a myriad of emotions are coursing through me. Adds to the feeling of rejection I have been feeling since I was informed via email that MINDEF is turning down my job application. Lest I break down in public, I will not elaborate further. The lyrics of the old Stevie Nicks/Fleetwood Mac song says it all.
LANDSLIDE
I took my love and I took it down
I climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older too
Well...
Well, I've been afraid of changing 'cause I built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
I'm getting older, too
Well I'm getting older too
So, take this love and take it down
Year and if you climb a mountain and ya turn around
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well the landslide brought me down
And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills
Well maybe
Well maybe
Well maybe the landslide will bring you down
Sunday, January 6, 2008
The Darjeeling Limited
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
A bit slow as usual...wouldn't be the NO.1 procrastinator otherwise.An old college mate from my WSU days commented via Facebook that my blog was full of angst. Shall try to be less angsty...only if my life sort off stops being so tumultuous.
Finally convinced el-cheapo that we should go watch a movie yesterday. There's only one movie at the moment that I do feel like watching anyway.I sure did not regret it. I thoroughly enjoyed The Darjeeling Limited, as much as I do a cup of piping hot Darjeeling tea on a cold, monsoon afternoon. It was a comedy of sorts, yet it does not have the slapstick, crass humor of Borat or Naked Gun. To me, it was quite a poignant drama which examines the rather uneasy relationship of the 3 Whitman boys, as they set off on their 'spiritual journey' through India. I shan't give too much away.
Loved Adrian Brody, the funky glasses and his cool suit. Something about those puppy dog eyes. Jason Schwartzman, co-writer who also plays the youngest Whitman (and is Francis Ford Coppola's nephew) reminds me so much of Ringo Starr. In fact, there's something Beatle-esque about the movie. Deliberate or otherwise, it was like watching the Beatles on their journey to India in the 60s.
The colors of India and the mad cap adventures of the Whitman brothers really make this a movie that I would consider getting on DVD. Just like Monsoon Wedding. The other thing I have been hunting for is the original soundtrack to the movie. The campy early Bollywood type music - so reminiscent of the days when my mom spent Saturdays watching Hindi movies on RTM.
Check out the web on http://www.foxsearchlight.com/thedarjeelinglimited.Reviews available on Rotten Tomatoes http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/darjeeling_limited.It may not be everyone's cup of tea (pardon the pun) but for me, there's something that I can relate to in the movie.
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