Monday, January 4, 2010

New Year, New Post

Dusting the cobwebs off this blog. I only had 2 posts for the whole of 2009. Writing, other than for work has always been therapeutic, less fattening than baking and eating and not damaging to the wallet like retail adventures.

Should I unlock this blog? I had to lock it up for various reasons...some of which haven't entirely gone away...Decisions decisions...yet another decision to confront this 4th day of 2010.

Happy New Year if you are still reading this blog.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Observations on SMRT 960

Now that I have become a parent, I have started thinking about imparting values to my daughter. These include the simplest of things such as etiquette to intrinsic things such as being a good person. Good being relative of course.

I've even wondered whether she'll pick up the habit of picking her nose in public! This springing largely from my hubby and my obsession as new parents to pick the 'booger' out of her nostrils. We can see that the little gal, at two months and two weeks is probably thinking that her parents are a bunch of nutters! Such satisfaction derived from a big nugget from her delicate nostrils!

I got to thinking on the bus yesterday as I was on SMRT 960, on my way to work. Two boys, brothers perhaps, from an elite school along service 960's route got on at last stop in Bukit Panjang. Instead of moving to the rear, the two of them sat on the steps of the bendy bus, oblivious to the stares from fellow commuters. The younger boy whipped out his HP and began his game. The elder boy closed his eyes and dozed off. The former teacher in me had the great urge to tap them on their shoulders to get them to stand at the rear like everyone else. I was concerned about their safety too, it is kind of dangerous sitting on the door steps. I was also ready to say I knew some teachers at their school, which I did. Decided to mind my own business in the end. Probably afraid of the other passengers' reactions to my actions.

It's kind of sad to see how graciousness is slowly slipping out of our culture. Little things seem to have faded away. I can count the number of times other passengers gave up their seats when I was pregnant. Or how about the young couple who was oblivious to an elderly man standing right in front of them on the MRT? They were glued to their I-Phone as they watched a movie! It's also the society that I have brought my daughter into. I do hope that she'll grow up being caring and gracious and not oblivious. It's a journey that any new parent must surely worry and ponder about.


Christmas came and went...with an exciting adventure on the eve. New Year came and went and the Lunar New Year came and went! Second time around having to dole out ang pows...had a brief hiatus from 2003 to 2008 from giving ang pows out. This time around it will be for the long haul! Expensive exercise...even if the baby gets some back. It goes to her CDA Baby Bonus account!

Trying to adjust to the eventuality of returning to work! Whole new environment as I see some changes in leadership at work. Harder still now that I have a new baby to leave behind as I try to climb the corporate ladder.Something I have not done well in since I started work. Leaves me to think I should have stayed at my first job as subsequent ones after a disaster at the second one triggered a whole chain reaction career wise. The perennial 'What if' - a dangerous question to ask! Something historians, or at least this one, tend to dwell on. One that often causes a regression for me in my personal and professional life! Wonder if getting a life coach would help! If only they didn't charge many arms and legs!

Will try to blog more often...otherwise I will return to the good ole fashion pen and paper journal. Who wants to read the random rantings of an average nobody anyway? Haha.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Much has happened. I celebrated a birthday, I started the house moving process and am half way in the somewhat new place and I became a mom on Dec 2. As the year draws to close, can't help but wonder if next year will be better. They say the RAT year should have been a good one for me as a rat but I am not sure about that. 2 good things came out of it - hubby and baby. All within a space of 3 months.

Mulling over a tough decision now - well 2 tough decisions actually. And am stuck in another moment I can't get out of. Despite tips from 2 friends that say my blog and MSN taglines always seem so morbid. I wish I could day otherwise but I can't as another mini-crisis blows on the horizon. Just my Christmas wish that there be joy, peace and love for all. My best gifts for Xmas are the 2 main people in my life, a family I can finally say is my own. But certainly, Santa (and God) knows what I really would like for Christmas.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I am not the most pious or faithful of Christians. My faith journey has never been an easy one. Given the recent developments since 2002, I feel like I have lost my faith or more, I have lost my communion with God. I know He is still watching over me but it seems harder and harder to say 'Thy will be done Lord' because each time I say that, more disasters happen and situations reach calamity levels. Like now. Maybe people will say that I merely testing God but I have been raised with the notion that God helps those who help themselves.

Yet I look at family and friends who have so much passion and faith and feel as if maybe if I pray more or be more fervent and regular in going to church, things will work out for the best. Yet something in me also finds that so wrong, as if I were making use of God.

Of course, there are issues, which some of my closest pals term 'Catholic guilt' which makes it very very hard for me to get back to my faith and to God. I don;t feel worthy at all but then again, all these are created by man.

All I know right now is I am facing a very difficult situation, a big cross and I really hope for a miracle at this very moment or else I really don;t know what else to do.

Lord - where are you? Can you hear me?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Bringing Cheer when the Chips are Down!

A colleague showed this to us last week. Helped me get through a challenging week! Which will carry on for next week....I am still writing though demoralised. The chicks' laughter - simply infectious!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008


I should really be working, though it's close to 11pm and I've had a 12 hour day. Deadlines to meet, things to get ready for.Things weighing heavily on my mind. The muggy weather and the rain isn't helping to lift the mood at all.

I've developed a phobia - a phobia for writing. Today more than any other day, I have developed a greater phobia for writing and started pondering even more about work and the direction I am headed. Funny how something that used to bring me solace is something I need solace from. What happens when something you have been told all your life that you are good at, turns out to be a bigger liability? I am feeling that right now.

Work - 6 months going on 7 and I still feel a sense of frustration. A rage at myself. Some situations occurred today alone which has me thinking...pondering. All these feelings festering and all these fears, worries that are sweeping my mind. Have I become a liability? am I becoming redundant? Is it time to move on???

SOLACE...and some clarity and silver lining...always seems so elusive.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Hanging up the boots

Been ages since I updated. So much has happened since February 2008. So much more will be happening. Today was a day that has left me so frustrated that I want to scream, shout and have all this anguish going on. Work and personal stuff weighing heavily on my mind.

Remember the 'Merry-go-rounds' at the playgrounds and how one is anxious to get off when the neighbourhood bully holds you hostage? I am feeling like that now...someone let me get off. please.