I should really be working, though it's close to 11pm and I've had a 12 hour day. Deadlines to meet, things to get ready for.Things weighing heavily on my mind. The muggy weather and the rain isn't helping to lift the mood at all.
I've developed a phobia - a phobia for writing. Today more than any other day, I have developed a greater phobia for writing and started pondering even more about work and the direction I am headed. Funny how something that used to bring me solace is something I need solace from. What happens when something you have been told all your life that you are good at, turns out to be a bigger liability? I am feeling that right now.
Work - 6 months going on 7 and I still feel a sense of frustration. A rage at myself. Some situations occurred today alone which has me thinking...pondering. All these feelings festering and all these fears, worries that are sweeping my mind. Have I become a liability? am I becoming redundant? Is it time to move on???
SOLACE...and some clarity and silver lining...always seems so elusive.