The day my world caved in

Today I found out that the parents I have had for the past 34 years of my life aren't my biological parents. All this after a very trying time watching my dad through his very sudden passing. In other words I am adopted. My life and the shit that has happened since July 2001 has come full circle. Everyone around me knew, I was the only fool who wasn't invited to his own birthday party. I have lost all hope.

Thank You

It's been a tough time. I am sorry I have not been able to blog and it's taking a lot of courage to post an entry today. Yesterday was a week since dad passed away. My cousins left and returned to our hometown,the Anamabas Islands. My cousin Abik, who is also my aunt by marriage, was so worried about me that she decided to brave the journey from the South China Sea to come visit me again in Feb next year.

I just want to say a big THANK YOU to all my family and friends who came by the hospital or the wake or funeral. If I didn't get a chance to speak to you, I do apologise. It's hard being the only kid and not be able to split myself between friends, relations and prayer group. Thanks too for the generosity, I did worry a little about expenses but managed to cover that with all your help.I collected Dad's ashes on Mon 18 Dec and we are waiting for the new marble slab to be ready before placing his ashes, alongside mom's at Holy Family Church, Katong. This is what he wanted when mom passed away in Jul 2001.

I can't write now without shedding a tear; I can't bring myself to pack daddy's things so I won't just yet. I'm going to go do some housework now to take my mind of him awhile.

Update on Dad 11 Dec 9:09pm

Those who know me, also know that my Chinese names translates to 'Plum Blossom'.(Thanks Dad! I have been the butt of all jokes not in my childhood days over this but NOW!) So her is an 'AH HUI' sitting in the middle of NUH Level 2 with Laptop writing a a blog. I have finally found a spot where I can log on to my NUS Visitor account.

Anyway, I could not have blogged today, as dad had quite a few visitors. They have lowered the level of sedatives and medications, but the prognosis remains the same. To be prepared for anything not so good. Sedatives have worn off and his eyes are open. He keeps them open and shuts them. I am convinced he can hear us, though it seems his gaze may not be focused entirely on us. It can be scary, as it reminds me of what mom went through in her last few days. Nope shall not let negativity get to me.

I had to call NUH's Quality Service Office. They must think I am the BIGGEST you-know-what around. But this Ah Hui got slang a bit also and spoke in her crispest Washingtonian accent. Always does the trick. I am trying not to be on edge. But at times, when the emotions are raw, tempers may flare.

After a few days around ICU & CCU, you start to recognise other families around you. Well, Drakon and I were in Ward 23 waiting rm (yes we got a spot - 'tiok bey pio' (struck the lottery in Hokkien, shall not use the cruder version, as I know my BIG cousins in Canada are reading this blog and I have a SQUEAKY CLEAN reputation to maintain). I was in and out of dad's room. Then this patient from the wards above came down, with an entourage of 7 family members. I could hear the family remark that this place is a good place to hangout as it has free TV. One of the men i n the group, reaches the Volume switch and turns it up REAL LOUD. All this without considering the rest of the CCU patients' families who had spent the night in hospital, in the very lounge and were trying to rest. Oh yes, and one of them had a major pong which made me feel like throwing up.

So I suggested to a very sleepy Drakon that we should go have lunch out of NUH and try one of the new cafes at the University Cultural Centre. So we did but we took the wrong internal NUS Shuttle. NUS is on a ridge - so ups and downs are all over. Well, someone decided to climb up the hill back to the free car park slot our Pasir Panjang Kakis told me about. Can die ah! I should have been in CCU after lugging a 2kg lap top and other toiletries up the steep slope.

Was nice to get away and eat at a 'posh' place - don't ask how much lunch was. Food was usual price for a bistro setting. Coffee served with Irish Cream cost the same price as a small latte at one of the 'ang mo' kopi joints. Drakon said definitely going back but not asking for water this time ($3 per bottle - we had 3!) I just had salad - can't hold much down.

I am rambling again! Anyway, time to go check on dad. Will post again if I don't lose my signals.

Update on Dad 11 Dec 9:21am

I could not blog at NUH, as I seem to have lost the NUS Wireless connection after the last update. I got the Wireless@SG site but it's so slow. What to do? Free service. The connection always gets lost!

I left NUH around 9 or so last nite. Same thing to report as the last update. Everyone just keeps telling me to be prepared for the worst. At times I get tired of updating everyone, not coz I am being selfish but repetition isn't fun. Then I have also got to deal with situations where people may say 'see la, never watch his diet' or 'why didn't you take him to see a doctor earlier?'. It's as if I'm being slapped on with a negligence suit.

Thanks for all who have stopped by my blog to keep updated. Thanks for prayers and the affirmation. My house is a mess, my clothes unwashed and unironed. I also have one mischievous kitten to deal with when I get home. Sonic is a little down, knowing that he can't 'bully' his kongkong for more treats or more food. I let him sleep with me the first night but he got scratched by lil Ms Halia for poking his nose near her face. So if you come to my house anytime soon, please don't complain that it looks like a beggar's hovel. My spring cleaning process got stopped half way due to the project and now dad.

Over and out and hopefully you'll be able to get updates on my blog.

Update on Dad for Sunday 10 Dec 12:50pm

I came back to see Dad at 11am. I spent the night at the Coronary Care Unit, waiting for dad and walking in to check on him periodically. Had contemplated going home to sleep but just couldn't put myself to it. In this battle, my mind and heart won over my body. I went home around midnite, dumped the laptop at home, as I was afraid it might be stolen if I dozed off to sleep. Hence the lack of blog updates. Came back after I took shower.

E,along with S & CL came to keep me company. Wasn't much company as I was very sleepy and tired. Told them not to worry around 3am? and got them to go home and rest. I must have dozed off around 5am and woke up on time at about 7am to catch one of the CCU cardiologists.Went home intending to shower and go back to NUH but dozed off till about 10am. How could I have?

Latest on dad is that he is marginally more stable than yesterday PM. But he isn't out of the woods yet. The cardiologist on duty said that if he pulls through, he'll be in CCU/ICU for at least another 3-4 days. It's pretty much supportive care at the moment; treatment will come after this.

I've had to 'move back' to the ICU Waiting Lounge. The 2 lounges at CCU are always full of families, who seem to be having picnics in the waiting areas. The mess left behind is incredible. I almost puked early this am when I moved to the smaller of the CCU Lounges. Someone had left a trail of yesterday's lunch and dinner all over the wood laminate floors. Coupled with the fact that the door was closed, the smell lingered in the room. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against all this family bonding.My friends and family must have contributed to other visitors' chagrin yesterday as well. But we tried to confine ourselves to a corner, as well as keep our volumes down. However, I noticed that some other visitors are oblivious to the nursing staff's pleas. Definitely, it's a lot better here than it was when mom was warded in SGH. I remember scolding a few little tykes and getting nurses to threated them with injections.

Thanks for all the prayers. Must say a big THANK YOU to Fr Clifford & Fr Jivan & Fr Joe Nathan of the Franciscans/St Mary's parish. Between them, they arranged to get one of them over to give Dad the anointing of the sick.

Will have my next post whenever I can. I think I'm going to just take a short nap for awhile.

Update on dad 10.46pm

It's not good news. Dad has been moved to Coronary Care Unit. Technically it should be a 'downgrade', which in medical terms should be a good thing. But in this case, it's really grim. He may not pull through the night and I am not ready for that eventuality. All this happened all so suddenly. Everyone tells me to be prepared; I have called whoever I can remember. Though dad has moved, I am still at hanging around the ICU LOUNGE, coz it's quieter and safer.

The doctors are doing another dialysis on him. They can't do much either. It' really touch & go. I am not going to lie to anyone and say I didn't cry. Coz I did. A LOT. And I don't think it'll be the end.

I've sent EVERYONE home. I'm here alone. Just waiting. Hoping.

Update on Dad 2:24pm

Had a steady flow of family and dad/s friends in. Just got back from lunch but food at kOPITIAM is uninspiring.Unlike the rest of NUS, which is full of Spinelli stands, NUS is SPINELLI free. Yeap, trust a foodie to always look for food in even the most dire of situations.

Dad has got out of his sedated state. But that's where the nurses are going to find resistence. He was struggling even though he has been tied down to the bed. He's trying to force the tubes out of his throat. I went in and managed to hold his hand for a bit.

It's really painful to see him struggle. His friends and my 3rd aunt, my godsis, my cousin were all surprised to see him so worn down. It's even harder when you live in the same house and never realise what's been going on. Again, the guilt, frustration and self-blame sinks in. I just hope and want my dad to pull out of this. Even if he's going to be less than 100%, I just hope God gives him more time. There's so much more we haven't done together yet.

Haven't got any news from the doctors - the ICU team or the cardiologist yet. They say 'No news is good news.' One can only hope so.

Latest Update at 9:51am

I'm waiting at the ICU Waiting Lounge. Dad had a dialysis last night. It did the trick for a while but it seems that his kidneys have shut down as they can't get any more water out of him. At 9:18am, the Staff Nurse in charge of ICU called and said that they were putting a breathing tube as he complained of increasing breathing difficulties.

Doctor gave an update - the cardiologist will be back down to review him in a bit. Seems he may suffered a silent heart attack without realizing it. It could have triggered the TIA episode last Friday. For now it's a wait. I broke down after the doc walked away. We still can't see him as they're doing an x-ray. I broke down after the doc talked to me. I must have also scared the guy who was in the waiting lounge, I wasn't that loud. It's scary knowing that dad's 2 vital organs are really weak. It's scarier even to hear his constant comment that he 'won't live past 79 or 80 any way', he's at that thereshold. Dad has a reputation for being a 'ou ya zhui'(in Chinese) - bad stuff he says always comes true. ALWAYS.

Why am I blogging and putting on morbid info? Hell, where's the sense of propriety in such a grave (no puns intended) situation. It's the only way for me to say the things I just can't say, the feelings trapped inside an abyss of emotions. A way to deal with the guilt and the frustration of 'WHY DIDN'T Is'.

I'm so full of it, I'm numb. The RMBR assignment is a GODSEND - it means I can visit dad anytime and it also means I have the wifi connection while waiting here. It's a most nerve wrecking feeling. Now if I can only find a wall socket to charge my laptop.

Update on Dad

I just got back after a 6 hour wait outside the A&E Dept at NUH. Thanks everyone for all your well-wishes. Feel so bad that I had to disturb your TGIFs with such news.But perhaps it's to prepare everyone in the event that you don't hear or see me for awhile.

Managed to convince my dad to go to A&E FINALLy this pm. His breathing had gotten more laborious since yesterday. Had asked Drakon to come over from work ASAP once dad agreed to go to A&E. By then, he was too tired so I had no choice but call for an ambulance.He told me to go for the non-emergency one but it was a half an hour wait. Glad I didn't listen to him. He could still ask me to pack his toothbrush and his slippers.

It was my first time riding in a SCDF Ambulance. I thought the family member accompanying the patient would be behind but that's so Hollywood. I sat upfront with the driver. Amazing how the ambulance is not well respected on S'pore roads. Think the driver finally decided to put the siren on. Even then, people didnt seem to budge.

It's scary. I am torn between guilt and frustration. I'm also not ready to lose another and my sole surviving parent. I was just beginning to have more time to spend with him. I still need him around to give me advice and a listening ear. Who'll Sonic have to bully now?

My mind is a flurry and as much as I DIDNT WANT to leave the ICU Waiting area, I don't think I could do much if I stayed on. Till tomorrow.

Thanks and big hugz to all my friends and sistas!

Breathe

Had to take the the day off from RMBR again yesterday. Dad complained that he could not breathe well Wed night but REFUSED my pleas and naggings about going to a 24hur surgery or A&E. This morning, he could stand it no more (figuratively & literally) so I dragged him to see a doc.

Even walking from car park to the clinic was difficult. He had to stop a couple of times. Pretty scary as it's not very normal for dad to be in such a state. He's a terribly stubborn old chap. Had been trying to get him to see the doc since his cough started. Met with vehement refusals every time. It was amazing how he could treat his TIA so lightly as well. His argument is always 'Waste money, doctors very expensive' or 'they pump me with anti-biotics' or 'wait expose me to more radiation by making me go for MRI or CT-Scan'. I mean I may be currently 'permanently unemployed' but no matter the cost, his health comes first.

He was sent to Mt Alvernia Medical Centre for an x-ray. After 45 minutes, we got the report. Seems he has a long infection and has been put on antibiotics. Monday there'll be a review and another X-RAy. If it doesn't clear, the hospital's next.

Whoever said been an only kid was fun? Those among you who have no siblings like me would definitely understand the anxieties that we go though. When mom fell ill, it was like a ton of bricks had being piled on my shoulders. Though not as serious, Dad's TIA episode and lung infection is enough to have me on red alert again.It's a pretty scary feeling, knowing you're helpless and trying your best to do what you can. Even harder when the patient is finicky and obstinate. Ms L was very understanding when I called the museum yesterday and told her I'd be back on Tuesday. Perhaps a silver lining has come out of my sabbatical from work. It may have been hard for me to just take urgent leave to take Dad to the doct's or stay watch at home over him.

Why does it always rain on me?

I've just come back from visiting a dear friend who just had her first baby this morning.New life is something we all look forward to but I almost couldn't make it to the hospital. I had arranged to meet 3 other friends there but missed catching up with them. Here's why.

I had planned to leave RMBR earlier but did not. However, I have finished the data entry portion of my project with them. 1,380 entries or so. It was getting dark when I left at 6pm and before I knew it, the rain started. It was relentless. Had no hands left to open the foldable brolly. Plus my pack had the lap top and my Oly and lense. One word - HEAVY! Flagged a few cabs before rain came but all of them 'buat bodoh! (feigned ignorance). Called Comfort Cab - put on hold. City Cab - line busy. Premier, SMRT - line busy.You pretty much catch the drift!

I finally got through COMFORT after 5 minutes and waited for another few to get a taxi. Thought I was lucky to finally get one - even the 18 to 25 minute wait was fine. I was already late anyway! I received a call from the cab driver 5 minutes into the wait. He was lost so I directed him. Right in front of me was another Comfort cab that had just dropped a passenger off.Tempted as I was to board it, thought since the cab I called for was on the way, I should just wait. It's the proper thing to do!

3 minutes or so later, cab driver calls and tells me he can't find Science Drive 2, though he is at Science Park. He then hints that I gave him wrong directions. That riled me. He puts down the phone and calls again some minutes later, telling me his stuck at Science Park and that I should re-start the can booking process. That's it.

I tried calling COMFORT again, getting it through only after non-stop attempts. That was followed by another wait to speak to the customer service officer. Told the officer and she puts me back on the automated queue.Didn't get any cab. Third and final try - by now rain has lightened. Poor customer service lady on the on the line coz by now I lost it! It's been 55 minutes of waiting. She tries to explain why cab driver 'blew me' off and finally agrees to help me find a cab, without putting me on the automated queue. She gets me one and he arrives 5 minutes as scheduled. He's a nice, slightly older uncle, who bothers explaining the route he's taking. HE knew I was upset and he tried his best to distract me.

I've run out of steam so Part II'll come tomorrow. My question is WHY?

Man is lonely by birth

Can't seem to get to sleep, guess I am still worried about dad. Been thinking over quite a fair bit over my existence since the previous job. It's my 'little red mini bits'theory that I've grappled with my whole life. Well something happened late this evening which has triggered off this deep feeling once again.Nothing catastrophic but enough to bring the tears on.

Ever feel like you are all alone? Those fears started for me when my mom passed away. Suddenly the true lines on dad's face started showing, you could see how much he aged suddenly. I felt all alone again when he started his travels and now, with the recent TIA attack and his constant,'live for so long already' phrase is unnerving. You have to be an only kid to truly understand how I feel.The utter sense of being so completely alone. Calls to mind the hymn, Pilgrim Song. I'm not the most pious Christian/Catholic around. Hell, given the circumstances of Jun 2002, it's been a slow ride in the religion department.But 'Pilgrim Song'is one of my favorites.There's a line in it which says,

'Man is lonely by birth, man is only a pilgrim on earth'.

Loneliness is hitting me really hard tonight. I've been left behind once again, I'm still on the outside looking iN, as I have always been throughout my life's journey. That's the main reason why I have been retreating into the shell since I left RS in 2004 (well, and the secondary reason was work was really hell at the next stop). I'm the spare tyre that gets thought of when there suddenly seems to be a spare ticket. I'm the afterthought after you finish your final sentence on a page. Coz I knew I would be forgotten and that somehow, I'd never be able to fit in ever again. Maybe I didn't reciprocate, as I have been once or twice accused. Or perhaps I have been too caught up in the messy life.

You know, even with family, I'm just called upon when a favour is needed.Can only think at the moment of one very special person who has been watching over me since last year whenever she's back in town. It's a horrible feeling overcoming me to know that I don't really matter enough to people who matter to me.

It hurts so I am just going to ignore it or do what we do when we have a hang nail. Pull it out, even if it bleeds and forget it. And if it still bothers you, then drastic measures need to be taken.

Monday Monday wasn' so good to me

Safe at home and trying to find the lil munchkin; she's run off somewhere and refused to respond to my calls. Guess I have to wait until she's hungry.

Didn't get much sleep, musing over dad's TIA attack on Friday. Called him from NUS during lunch time to check on him. He said he wouldn't touch anything in the fridge, since it's sausages or red meat. He's taking the extreme route. Drakon says like father, like daughter, noting that besides my stubborn streak, I have also inherited the 'swinging' to extremes bit from dad too! For dinner, he asked me to pack only veggies, with rice.

At least my day ended ok. It's been a week since I started at RMBR. What's that? the un-initiated may ask? Click below to find out! http://rmbr.nus.edu.sg/news/index.php?entry=/people/20061204-herpnet_ykf_molluscs.txt

I will be able to finish Part I of my project tomorrow and will move on to Part 2. It's been interesting for me (a humanities person) to learn more about bio sciences this past week. Don't worry, I have figured my way around NUS. Took me 2 days to orientate. And all would be proud of me, I DID NOT fill up my Spinelli card. Otterman keeps telling me I should invest in the Spinelli Friends Card; he got me the application today!

Tore into a slight problem this am, which Whirling Dervish knows about. Let's put it this way, I went to work in a pair of linen pants and came home with a pair of Giordano jeans. HAHA. No, it is NOT S.....ritis! Guess, the big guy in the sky must have known how tense I have been over DAD (still am actually) and needed some comic relief!

Back to drafting my emcee script. Find out more tomorrow or Wednesday! Heheh...

TIA

Been a bit quiet lately. Guess the fact that I don't have that many pix to post on my blog always gets to me. I work on my laptop most of the time since I got it in Sep n photos kept by Drakon on desktop. Somehow, very conscious of the fact I ramble so perhaps that is why I have been avoiding blogging this past week.

Discovered some new makan joints which I will blog about another time. Just discovered that my dad had an episode known as 'Transcient Ischemic Attack' or TIA on Friday. He just told me this over dinner today and in a very light, dismissive fashion. I dragged him to GP straight after dinner. He didn't want to tell GP but I forced him too. The doc said that TIA could be a sign that a stroke could be coming if he didnt watch his diet and blood pressure. He refused to go see a neurologist to run tests as he feels that MRIs and CT Scans expose on to harmful radiation.

I m feeling a lil worried and miserable about the situation. My dad is really stubborn. I am going to have a hard time convincing him. If it's not the financial factor, it's always radiation, useless and well, you catch my drift!

At a loss and miserable

HILANG.....

The weather is getting to me. All this rain is making me depressed. Ask D about how I felt yesterday. Maybe turning a year older has something to do with it. The old cliche of a year older and wiser should be changed to a year older and poorer for me. Seems I am not getting anywhere at all. Oh well. Enough doom and gloom. One bright spark was that the SIXTERS got me out for dinner on Friday and we had a ball of a time catching up. Other than that, no one else in my family remembered. But then again, the Sixters are family to me. They have always been there for me and saw me through some extremely difficult moments in my life. Guess for only kids like me, close friends are the siblings we never had. Pardon the sentimental mood. It's the weather I tell you!

Anyhow...I started a temp thingie at NUS yesterday. For now it's data entry, which can be a nice respite after the past few hectic years in my past 2 jobs. Anyhow, it's also in the sciences, which I have not much exposure to. Well, if you count the fact that I did Human & Social Bio for my O's. Shall treat it as a good learning experience! The other learning point for me is trying to navigate around NUS. My visits to Kent Ridge have always been specific - using the Central Library (illegally) during my NIE days, having lunch at the Arts & Soci canteen with J & A or visiting E at his Smiling Gecko shop. Good thing I knew where key landmarks were.

Now, those of you who know me, my nickname is The Map. Remember all the times you gals called me for directions??? That meant I could find SUBWAY (Monday is roast beef day!) for lunch and of course, this coffee junkie had no trouble locating Spinelli's . However, after lunch, I got stuck in a sudden downpour and found myself stranded at Subway. Had to call my friend,KP who works at NUS for help. He told me to 'follow the yellow brick road' (er, roof) all the way back to the Science Faculty. Which I did, except the rain got heavier and I had to dive into the Spinelli's at the University Hall for a spot of Honey Camomile tea. Heheh. Had one more cup while waiting for D. He figures at least a third of my hard earned pay will go to Spinelli's. I hope not!

It's funny - I feel like a stranger in my own land while I am on Kent Ridge. Having not gone through the local varsity system (failed Chinois and Econs, what to do?) = reason one. The other reason is that I observed lots of foreign students. Guess it's also good that they consider NUS for their overseas education. Of course being in NUS also brings back memories of my undergrad days at WSU (but minus the snow!). Funny how back then I never reckoned my life would turn out this way. Had a route all mapped out but then life takes unexpected twists.

I'm rambling so it means it's time to go.

Old skool

Went down to meet Otterman today. He gave me (your IT not-so-savvy person) some pointers on Deli.cious and Wordpress. I shall investigate those and Firefox further in the next few days. Suggestionwas to also shorter rambles and strive to stop stringing long sentences. Thanks folks for pointing that out. Funny eh, coming from ex-educator like me. But that's always the case, we also do things we tell our kids NOT to do. A year and a bit at ... has brought about my degeneration. It's time I got my groove back! My profs at WSU's History faculty would be so upset with my newfound bad habits! AIYAYA... D says it's a reflection of my 'mile a minute' speech and thought pattern. That's something to learn for next year, which will begin for me in exactly half an hour. One year older, one year poorer! Haha.

Finally had a taste of CHOC A BLOC cakes this afternoon. OR at least I think it is, because the present name of the stall does not correspond with that on Choc.a Bloc website. Have been trying for the longest time to figure out where in the dickens in Bedok to find the shop. Came across a 'flog' last week and since I was at Centrepoint, what the heck. I've already back all the weight I lost last year anyways. SO back to being plus size! Had Mag's somethin or other and Mom's Fudge cake. Preferred Mom's Fudge cake though OM prefered the other. Of course, Lana is the classic but Choc a Bloc is a close 2nd. For more info, check out http://www.chocabloc.biz/

Anticpation, tension, anxiety as I begin another project on Monday. So many expectations...what if I mess it up? It's only natural I guess to feel this way. The past 2 years and a bit (including last term teaching in2004) have completely made me question my own competence professionally. Seems I've let quite a few people down over the past 2.5 years. It's hard to build up that confidence when all you've had is criticisms and more. Golly, gotta keep it short. Now I am togue (and finger) tied. Oops, someone is up to mischief so over and out for now.

PDA of a different kind

You know you are getting older when stuff like this bugs you!

Had dinner ALONE at BIG-O. My cousin was in town after an eye op so after the tuition session with her daughter, we ended up chatting and catching up. Haven't had a chance to see her when I was working at... Stayed much longer than I should; anyway the rain was very heavy. My 'dun leave home' without it brolly nowadays could not handle the wind! To cut long story short, had to go Popular to buy some books for niece so ended up at Orchard MRT. Walked to Borders and got the December issue of EVERYDAY FOOD. Recipes in this issue are more interesting than November's THANKSGIVING issue. That'll be a separate post.

Ended up paying way too much for a light dinner, iced tea and a slice of cheesecake at Big O Cage. Faced rejection when my CC was rejected. Big time MALU! Must get off my butt and get back to work.

No cab in sight at my secret location cab stands so I decided to take a bus. It was just outside Royal Plaza on Scotts (currently under refurbishment, graphic design on new logo looks promising) that I spotted them. Now, you would reckon that the LV attache case would be in the hands of the gal pal. However, in this equation it was the opposite. She was carrying some dingy Puma or Le Coq Sportif bag that didn't look genuine or had at least seen better days. Both were in black and caught my eye coz (a) they were directly in front of me (b) walking very very slowly and (c) coo-ing away at each other.

So I end up at the bus stop outside Thong Teck building. The bendy 190 that had come along was crowded so I thought I'd wait for the next. Mr & Ms Black come along, stand at the edge of the bus stop and begin coo-ing. They also begin one of the longest smooches in public history (nothing like that famous photo of the sailor and gal kissing in Times Square or something after WWII), much to the discomfort of the folks around them (me included). The older folks were clearly appalled and shot the oblivious pair dirty looks. I was trying hard not to look like a kay-poh (busybody) but what to do when everywhere I turn they were they (and blocking my view of the road!) Hehe, so one couple, obviously married and in mid-30s, decides to retaliate by being a little bit lovey-dovey too!!!!

2 thoughts ran through my mind -
1) AWWWWWWWWWWWW how sweet! Young love! They'd make great models for ROMANCING SINGAPORE type campaigns. It brought a wee, slight smile as it was nice to know that romance was still alive.

2) The appropriateness of such behaviour in public. Having been an educator, lectured sexuality ed classes to high schoolers, this was exactly what most teachers and parents were trying to warn kids against. I ain't no prude, been there done that (but not so drama lah!) but there is a level to which society is able to accept such behaviour. At the end of the day, we're still living in an Asian society, though with fast changing norms and views steering towards the Western model.

I am sure I won't be the last to cringe at our lovebats (they were in full black (except for the LV bag which I am sure is not the genuine article), down to the spectacle frames) but then again, they won't be the last young couple we see on Orchard Road living in their own dream world.

Catch Up Time

Having spare time (well, other than my freelanz projects), besides just being about retail therapy, also means I get the catch up with friends. Well not as much as I would like coz I still have to finish my deliverables. One person who is always a pleasure to catch up with is Rashmi. From being a frequent face at her boutique, I graduated to becoming a friend of sorts. It's always great to spend time with such a wonderful person.

Good time for me to answer a question I often get; 'where did you get that shirt from?' LET me reveal the place - mentioned in an earlier blog. Think some of you can recognise the trademark style which covers bulk of my wardrobe yah? These are Rashmi's creations and she was great in letting me copy these images off her website, which can be found at http://www.pureearth.com.sg

In our climate, I've discovered that cotton is most comforting. As I grow older, I realise that I can't quite tolerate synthetic fabrics such as nylons, lycra (which also shows off how fat I am) as well as before. I dare say that the cotton tops from Pure Earth have spoiled my skin. What's great too is the traditional Indian woodblock prints. As they are handmade, sometimes Pure Earth clothes end up being unique; no two pieces are exactly the same and quantities may be limited too. It's preservation of an important heritage and a dying art in India. Thanks to the Bollywood invasion, not just in Singapore but overseas, the traditional Indian apparel and the various components of it stand a chance of surviving on to the next generation. Oh yes, did I mention the gorgeous embroidery on Rashmi's creations? Hehe, the Nonya in me is a big sucker for that.

Enough said - go check out the stores at #03-29 Holland Shopping Centre (where Cold Storage is) or on Level 2 at Tanglin Mall (same floor as Tango Mango bookstore).

I have to go get ready - need to give one of my cousin's kids from Indonesia intensive English tuition. Plus finish up last of my ACM project; had some mishap with laptop last week. Thankfully, determined it may not have been hardware fault but software!!!

PS: My bosom buddies will also tell you that I have had to double up as her 'PLUS SIZE' model on on or two occasions - you may still be able to spot my pic around her Holland V outlet.

My name is Smitten...

Watched Casino Royale last night, as we were given free tickets for a screening at GV Vivo City. Took ages to get a parking lot so perhaps we should have heeded my godpa's advice to park elsewhere. Good thing we gave ourselves ample time to get there.

We were told that the #21 in the Bond franchise was confusing, boring and someone told D it was 3 hours long. You know, I am not a diehard James Bond fan but when it does come along, its one of the rare movies that I would venture to the cinema to watch. I've seen all of them and my dad set me off on the right path as a kid by making me watch Dr No. That to him is the BEST in the entire series. Guess Bond is the quintessential English gentleman I think, a little roguish and Scarlet Pimpernel like and at the same time mysterious. Sean Connery will always to me be THE ultimate Bond but I think Daniel Craig (though Blond) comes a close 2nd. He sure has nice behinds and a not too bad physique. Somehow, I could not shake off Pierce Brosnan's Remington Steel persona and for Roger Moore, he was much better as Simon Templer in The Saint tv series. I must confess I had a slight crush on Timothy Dalton when I was in Upper Secondary school; to a broody teenager, he was the thinking and intellectual Bond.

OOOOOOOHHHHH, the cars!!!! OK, the wardrobe of the Bond gals (nice ones and baddies) is something I enjoy looking out for, except they may be a lil bit skimpy at times. However, the magic of Bond is in the cars! The Aston Martin DB8 featured in Casino Royale is WOW...hey if someone gave me a car like that, I'd pluck up the courage to start driving again. Though paying for petrol and maintenance is another issue altogether. Did I tell you about the fantastic locations? My choice pick is the palazzio by the lake where 007 recovers (watch for it, shan't give away too much)

All in all, I enjoyed the movie; may even go pick up the book. It's a good introduction into the psyche of the world's most famous spy. Star Movies was running a Bond retrospect. Funny how on Friday night, they sxreened the first Austin Powers just before a Bond movie. You know where Mike Myers got inspiration from!

For those of you who do remember Page One, the art bookstore at Marina Square from eons ago, they've open at Vivo City. Think they may just give the big guys a run for their money. Will browse when they are lest crowded. I know I said I may consider not ever stepping into a particular candy shop that made the news some weeks back but the call of Cherry Ripe and Cherry Bounty bars were too GGGRRRREEAAATTTTTTTTTT! Besides, I was down as my godma said I am looking round and tubby. Doesn't any one know how upset I am over that?

OH WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL.............. when all else fails, I should just go grab a Martini, saken but not stirred!

Apa Embok-embok?

Had to break the blogging habit... whether reading other bloggers (and floggers) or writing my own! It's getting in the way of finishing my projects! By the way, have finished and submitted draft 1 of one project, which they seem to like. Furiously trying to finish the 4 parts of project 2!

Was invited by kakis at a museum to join in a focus group on Peranakans. Tried to convince D to join in but he conveniently had a b-ball match! Really didn't know what to expect and believe if or not, had butterflies in my stomach before it. Actually, all through it. The aircon was freezing - darn I should have brought my cardi or shawl. Now I know why my kakis there always have a shawl handy! It was quite 'intimidating', though I knew the 4 curators and 3 facilitators (all museum staff) before hand from my days at ... I was the 'youngest' invited guest, not to say my fellow nonya and baba were old. I think i rambled on in an extremely 'bimbotic' fashion and could feel myself shivering. At the end of the day, I really don't know how much of what I said made sense or will be of use to the curators. Thought it was narcissitic of me to talk so much about my roots to a non-family member.

It does, however, bring me back to the fact that I have not fully begun my journey to search for my roots. Growing up as a 'chap-pa-lang', it was always just easier to say I am a Nonya or a Baba (most people don't realise that Baba refers to a male Peranakan and Nonya to a female).What do I make of myself since I am half Peranakan/half Indon-Chinese on maternal side (Ong/Gan) and Indon-Chinese on the paternal side (Wee/Toh)? Where do I fit in since my family comes pre-dominantly from a little known island set in the South China Sea called 'Siantan' or 'Terempa' or Anambas? The only people in Singapore who possibly know it are members of the diving community. Can an Indon-Chinese 2nd generation Singaporean truly call herself Peranakan? Does the fact that I grew up speaking our native dialect and Malay since I learnt to speak, picking up English only in kindy; that I like Nonya cuisine and that I still speak Malay and Indon to my relatives count? Also I don't wear a kebaya, I can't 'sulam'(but I sure can 'sumpah' ), so does that count? I do have a penchance for all things embroidered though and when I can afford one, will buy a kasut manek that fits (since mom's feet were a size 5 versus my 7 -7.5).

So what does it make me? Questions will be coming from the question mark kid! I guess I should get my cousins from my extended family (children of my mom's paternal cousins who are closer in age to her than me) to take me to Bukit Brown cemetary to visit the graves of my great grandparents etc. I should have 'cornered' my mom more when she was alive to probe and ask. Life is full of 'what ifs' and if I don't start this quest soon, time may really run out.

Service, oh Customer Service

Did anyone ever tell you that I happen to like Kwon Sang Woo? It's my MSN nick. This am at breakfast, I told D about KSW's recent spate of bad luck. He seemed to be paying attention and then said, 'Do you think I care?'. This after I keep reminding him that this man is his rival for my affections. MAN!

Enough trivial stuff. Thought I'd like to introduce a fun Korean versus the tirade I am going to be launching into over the SAMSUNG TV. In my post on Sat, I mentioned that my LCD had died. So it was a tv-less weekend, which is ok. The Customer Service folks at Samsung said that the techies would get here between 10am - 2pm. Already a wide window but it shouldn't get worse than that. Or so I thought. At 1:30pm, they still hadn't shown up. So I called the hotline, told to wait for an eternity before I was told, ah, we'll call you back. 30 mins later, someone calls me back and says the techies'll make it to my house between 4pm to 7pm today! I mean, couldn't someone in the least have called me earlier when they realised that they couldn'[t make the time stipulated?

Don't get me wrong, I sure don't want to get no customer service staff or the technician in trouble; they are all earning a living and like the rest of us, need a job for whatever reasons. In this case, I'd like to blame the system - somewhere in the big scheme of things, something got messed up. Heard of Spandau Ballet's song 'Communication', there's a line in there that says, 'communication let me down'. This is one good case. Just a phonecall man, don't care who does the calling but at least let the customer know, don't keep us waiting and if you must, don't let us be the ones to call you.

Now case in good service, 2 examples from yesterday.

1) Giordano Ladies, Paragon
No clothing label (other than Pure Earth) has made more money off me in the past 2 years as Gio Ladies since it opened in Dec 04. Hey, I'm Privilege Card holder No.12 for crying out loud. I know most of the older staff (those who have been there since they opened) at both outlets. Last week I sent in a pair of jeans I'd gotten some months back for length alteration. Alteration is complimentary, even after a few months. Mel, the Assistant Store Manager called me Sat to say they had to give me a new pair of jeans as the seamstress had made a mistake in the alterations. Last nite, she called and apologised profusely and told me that they could not get the same pair of jeans as I had. Instead, she had kept aside a new pair for me from this season's collection and if I didn't like it, they'd let me choose a pair of dress pants instead. She told me the seamstress felt so bad about the mistake that she'd wanted to pay for the new pair. I hope she doesnt have to. That is service and why I keep going back to Gio Ladies , even if prices are slightly higher than most places.

2) Island and Archipelago, Holland Village Shopping Centre
I used to buy select items from I & A when they had 2 units within the mall, one selling pashminas and bgas and the other, home decor items. They have just one unit left (the other unit, like many places at the Hive and elsewhere, has become a mani and pedi joint) and besides selling a selection of accessories, now carried clothing from Korea (mostly), Taiwan and HK. I bought a pretty embroidered spaghetti strapped bloused some months back and washed it on Sat. I did remember being told that I didn't need to handwash it. The red bled on the white portion so I took it back to the shop yesterday. Boy was I relieved to find out that another customer, who had bought the only other piece, faced the same problems. No questions asked, I have been offered a refund, once we figure out how much I paid for the blouse. Love the service from Angela and Seri! Keep it up gals! Oh yes, they have also a new outlet, ISLA on level 3 (I think) of Bukit Timah Plaza (level above Popular)

Customer service has been big on my list, not just coz I was involved in it when I was at the job before this, but started when I went to get my wireless router last Saturday. But that's another service story.


Post Note: It's 3:50pm. The Samsung techies came at 3:25pm and fixed the TV. Took them only 10 minutes to fix the problem. Couldn't it have been done this AM? Thanks gentlemen, you were nice, And don;t worry, neither Sonic nor I bit them!

Poison Ivy Bistro

The Samsung LCD TV in my room is kinda dying... it's like about 8 months old? I have been TV-less since 9pm last nite. Oh well, there's always music or the TV outside. The Samsung techies will come on Mon between 10am to 2pm. I seem to always get the duds and lemons...the old Alfa 156, the Getz...now the Smasung. Hope my laptop doesn't go the same way...has slowed down somewhat since we installed the McAfee Security Centre 2007. With the heavy surfing by dad (well known to have messed up PCs in the past 2 decades) and now moi, guess prevention is better than cure.

To cheer me up, D decided to drive us to Bollywood Veggies (Poison Ivy Bistro). Actually, I was about to tell him we haven't had Pepper Lunch for awhile but he made a left turn. Like some sort of telepathy, I automatically exclaimed 'We're headed to Poison Ivy' aren't we?' It can be pretty uncanny, sometimes we don't tell each other where we are headed to makan but the other person instinctively shares the same thought. I didn't mind - Bollywood Veggies is one of my fav places. (http://www.bollywoodveggies.com)

It's always a treat to go to Poison Ivy to get away from the urban sprawl and retreat to the countryside. One of the servers recognised us and gently (jokingly of course) for not coming down for ahile. Ok, we were there maybe 1 month and a bit ago? We aren't regulars there but it was sorta niced to be recognised. Now if only most makan joints and boutiques would work on that, we'd go back up the 'good service' rankings. That's why I shop at the few places I normally do for my clothes...pricey or otherwise. Service and making each customer, from cheapskate to difficult, from shy wallflower to Paris Hilton feel SPECIAL!

Today's dishes were YUM SCRUM, as usual. Some of my ex-colleagues at the old workplace have commented that the food there ain't fantastic (we had a function there once) but to me, if I leave the place either wanting more, totally stuffed or BOTH, it's a good joint to go to. Prices are ok; though some pals have again commented that it is pricey. It is organically grown. We like the food there coz of the Peranakanish - home cooked food that we both grew up with. Of course, we also like the laidback atmosphere. I always love walking to the Bistro and smelling the pandan and lemongrass in the Aromatic Garden.

The menu changes daily for the mains so we had:
1) Assam Fish - deep fried Dory in an Assam Sauce; surprisingly not too spicy and I enjoyed it, the non-chilly eater that I am. The assam pedas seafood man of course had to have it.
2) Bollywood Drumlets
3) Organic papaya salad. Thank God it wasn't the ripe papaya (can't really make salad out of that) but the young kind. I DO NOT eat ripe papapya, only papaya muda (young) as it doesn't have THAT smell and is crunchy!

Of course to end, the Wonderful kueh kosui and our new favourite - the sesame banana fritters. I must try that - will shirt cut with Adabi goreng pisang mix. Since I didn't have the banana bread today, I bought a small portion home. That's for me and me alone. (Muahahahahahah)

Saw the owners' dogs - 2 Rotties named Aloo and Gobi and 2 new Great Dane 'puppies'. I say 'puppies'; Sonic would be pulvarised to pits by them. Remember, Sonic was pinned down by Moo, the JRT a couple of years back. Headed to Woon Leng Nursery thereafter. It has been a long absence from orchids for us, D couldn't face it after the collection of orchids we had been amassing on my balcony were 'massacred'. We lost some beauties; not your 'run-of-the-mill' Golden Showers or Dendobriums, like my 'Eagle-Eye' cattleya, my Lamellatas etc. Ended up with 2 dendrobiums - the Dawn Maree and the Dearei. My 1st Dawn Maree had been one of the victims of the great orchid massacre. Will post pix of them when I have taken a shot - didn't bring any of the cameras out today. Wanted to check out Song Orchid next door, which one of my kakis told me was good but the PM rain hit again!

Still cleaning the room - 2 museum projects moving about an inch only. Aiya-ya-ya. Must fin by Tues, hook or by crook. Or else mati lah! Time to go test out my new Tefal Pro series deep fryer - fried food Saturday for dinner!

Requiem for lost photos

Winter is coming, well the monsoon at least, given that we are a tropical country with no seasons except dry and wet. It's been raining every afternoon from just about 1pm onwards. Had brunch at BPP - the mall closest to me, picked up some grocs and came home to find a whole load of negatives and photos wet coz the wind had been strong and the rain had come in. Spent the last 2 hours salvaging whatever photos and negatives I could. Shoot! It's a good thing I've made the transition to digital for recent photos. So many lost memories in the negatives that have been damaged by the rainwater. I'll have to go down to Photohub and get them to convert the negatives into digital format. No use lamenting it, I just have to save the remaining ones. Saw my bank account and horror, horror. Better go find a job soon??? Gonna have to dip into my secret stash soon. Wish me luck!

On the brighter side, Martha Stewart's Everyday Food: Collectible Cookie Edition is out. 51 cookie recipes; haven't tried baking cookies in a very very long time (do Betty Crocker pre-mixes count?) so perhaps I should now that I am free-er. I know how many people feel about Martha, especially after her stint in the slammer but you got to admire the woman's chutzpah. Besides, not all the recipes are by her but by a talented team that makes up her omnimedia empire.

Gosh, they're right. Blogging can be addictive... I realise that I have posted almost every single day this week. Gotta get a life man! Tomorrow's Saturday - though I am a 'stay at homer' now, I still look forward to weekends!! Guess I should enjoy this unhurried lifestyle while it lasts!

Of bikes, birds and Biennales...

D decided to take a day off from work; he hasn't had a chance to do his annual 'take some leave and do absolutely nothing' yet this year. Was complaining that his mind is blank when he goes to work lately. Don't I know that feeling.

So he went with me to Tanglin Camp to check out the Singapore Biennale. First was brunch at the new food court at the new building at the Tanglin Gate of the Botanic G. Had some creepy guys staring when I was waiting for my food. Makes me awful self-conscious - am I fat? am I spilling out of the green, embroidered bustier top I finally plucked up the courage to wear? Is it the 'chip' on my left shoulder? Or was it all 3? Luckily, I was distracted by 2 guys, their bikes and their parrots. Well a Cockatoo and a Macaw to be exact, who were perched on the handlebars of their bikes. The macaw was a happy camper, swinging and grooving as his owner cycled. I preferred tge cockatoo - have had a soft spot for them since my 1st aunt had when one I was a lil kid. He could mimick the way her husband called her name and say hello! Always wanted one but I think the noise Sonic makes more than makes up for it.

We drove in to the old CMPB (yes to all the young'ens born in the 1980s and beyond, that was the old CMPB!) via the old Civil Service Club side. Should have gone in from the MFA entrance. Had to walk some to get the the 4 buildings which made up the galleries. As we discovered later, not a good idea coz the rain came down, hard,fast and furious. Major puddles.

Free entry, not many people around though. Started with Kuriyabashi's installation. The fish tank would sure throw people off. I could see D was not impressed. We went down to the basement and climbed the ladder to find a surprise. Could see he was wondering if he'd ever get good shots. Guess I forgot to warn him about visual art exhibitions! Photos captured in my flickr account are of stuff that impressed me. Didnt post more cost he hasnt finished converting the photos we shot on the Oly E1 and E300 from raw. It's also grainy coz we had to lower quality to put on flickr. Do note I am still starting out with the DSLRs so excuse the photo quality. However, I can't quite imagine going back to my Coolpix point-and-shoot now that I've started messing about with DSLRs.My fav photo op and piece was by Agathe de Bailiencourt. Would do that to my next pad (much to D's chagrin). Some pieces were a lil bizarre and would have done better if there had been some write up on the artist's inspiration etc. Guess they wanted visitors to try out the 'Walk the Talk' audio guides. That would be harder for the older folks. Or I could have been clouded by some early comments from pals on Biennale and hence the not so enthusiastic response. I enjoyed looking at the architecture of the old barracks though. Wouldn't it be nice to live in one or have a shop in one.

Wanted to swing by the Hive but got vetoed. So opted for CS Jelita but the car park was full. Ended up at The Daily Scoop (http://www.thedailyscoop.com.sg) to ride out the heavy storm over Clementi. Their Lychee Martini and Honey Vanilla ALWAYS hits the spot! The other alternative to Island Creamery. Went home, logged on to Etsy and got some neat prints from Carla Sonheim. Cooked a simple dinner with Chubby Hubby's Negi to buta-niku no itame recipe over mee tai mak. Will try again coz I had no sake so I subbed it with Hua Tiao wine, added some pepper and L&P sauce. Cleaned up kitchen coz dad has been tinkering in it and unpacked the new Tefal stainless steel deep fryer. The pro series...yay!

So maybe today I'll actually start work on my projects???

The drugs don't work...

I did absolutely nothing yesterday...way behind on my projects. Had killer crampz so I stayed permanently on my bed and hijacked MY laptop back from dad. I miss MIDOL and PAMPRIN...Panadol Pink just don't cut it. Anyway, had my Indonesian cousins over with yumilicious 'Nasi Dogang', which is our Anambas Island kampung styled Nasi Lemak. Dad polished 6 packets (not in one sitting, don't worry) Actually, took mum's version for granted growing up and never bothered much with it. Now that she's passed on, you do get to missing her fantastic cooking and kinda regret not learning more seriously. Dad seems to miss it heaps. He was a well-fed and well-taken- care- of man when she was alive. Found the recipe on the Dolu-Terempa website, created by Terempa born folks who now live in Jakarta and other parts of Indonesia. Must try it...funky recipe that had our native kampung dialect peppered throughout the recipe.

SO what did I do? I surfed blogs and websites. Must be the last person in Singapore to discover Chubby Hubby (http://www.chubbyhubby.net/), truly a gourmet's delight. Also love Snog Blog(http://www.manic.com.sg/blog/archives/000527.php), and just realised that I'd met its creators while at my previous job and also at MAAD Sunday at the Red Dot. Truly creative people all over Singapore and the world.

The Blogsphere has also helped me link up with people I've lost touch with in the past decade. I know this for a fact when I was at WSU, gezillion of miles away from home, that SINGAPORE is a lil red dot but my uni mates and I had common friends back home. The Net has just reinforced that idea.

Again, D & D asked me who's gonna read my blog. Told them, who cares if no one does. It would be nice if people did and posted comments or if Blogger picked this up as a must read blog, but it won't kill me if no one ever reads it.

Was supposed to check out the Singapore Biennale site at Tanglin yesterday but rain and crampz got the better of me. Will just have to do it today as time is running out. Glad I waited (oh girl, wat a cheapo you are!) as admission is free from 4 Nov to 12 Nov (closing day). Check out http://www.singaporebiennale.org/ for more info. ST Life covered it today and since weather looks fine, chance for me to take our Olys out and take some shots.

Also have a mission - to look for CHOW CHOW doormats for my 'Er Jie', who is moving to a new pad and needs a replacement for the old one. My mission is to scour pet shops on the West and North side. Think she's got her Eastside covered. We both miss 'Raining Cats and Dogs'. Anyone with suggestions on good petshops, do drop me a post. Appreciate it.

Right, I supposed I ought to get my ass off my bed. Hhmmm there's a strong scent of sesame oil wafting through my room. Brekkie time - though I've been up since 0630h. Need to get out of the house, the racket from the renos on the 13th floor has been driving me nutz all week! Not to mention a migraine.

Over and out...

Musings

HHHMMMM... getting a bit ansy about finances during this retirement period. Must seriously start intensive job hunt, while working on the 2 projects I have for freelance.

Today was crazy 'run around' town day. Met C for lunch and caught up; she's one of my oldest friends - almost 2 decades, amazing! Before that, I had to go pick up my Matt & Nat bag (http://www.mattandnat.com) from Quintessential; got it 2 months back but had trouble with the zipper. The Quin ladies were so nice and absorbed the cost of repairs. The personalised service is one reason I enjoy shopping there and also the fact that many of the pieces are 'one-of-a-kind'.

Before I could get down to the Mandarin Shopping Gallery, I had to endure a horrible bus ride on 171. My grouses (you know lah, Singaporeans love complaining):

1) Bus driver was going really, really, really slow. When you are rushing for time, every second and minute counts. I was running behind schedule. Of course, on the other hand, there are also mad-cap drivers who speed at the expense of passenger safety and also often miss stopping at bus stops.

2) The slow ride, on top of the fact that the bus stopped along every stop from Upp Bt Timah to Town meant the driver had to brake often. That meant the pukey, bus sick feeling again.

3) Airconditioning wasn't working. It was stuffy and I really couldnt breathe!

4) Lady standing next to me (I was sitting) was wearing some cloying and sickeningly sweet parfum. Flowery and heavy scent, must be a French parfum. That sure added to my discomfort. Oh and though she was the last person standing at the back of the bus, she refused to move on all the way to the back (I was sitting in the middle, next to the door at mid section) and caused the crowding at the front of the bus. I always feel bad when I don't move way back when the bus is crowded. However, doesnt anyone realise how Singaporeans look at you weird when you do move in? I like what my school busdriver used to say; 'the back got ghost is it?' when we kids refused to move in.

OK, enough bus woes. What urked me before I got on the bus were the secondary school students at the bus stop. Being a former educator (and am currently in the process of going back - anyone who has school vacancies, pls post me a comment, mucho gracias) who was schooled in the old school way, it was hard not to say something to the kids. Frens reading this blog of course know I was on the Discipline Comm at my previous high school. Dervish may still remember me scolding kids without realising I was holding on to a mike and that the entire Staff Room heard me. What ruffled my feathers? This lower sec boy (he was wearing 'short pants', which in Singapore equates to a student in junior high) was screaming at the top of his voice, which was like a banshee's shriek, oblivious to the fact that the people at the bus stop were affected by him. Especially the old man who happened to be seated next to the group of boys. I was this close to giving them a sermon.

Think there was a report a week or two ago about how the young people in Singapore were litterbugs? Having witnessed it myself during my teaching days, I can sure attest to that. I saw a group of girls from the same school, littering their tissue paper and drink packets while at the traffic light. All this in plain view of drivers and pedestrians. I mean I was at least 100m away and I still could see them. Think that's the sad reality. How do we maintain our clean and green city reputation? Following the report above, a regular tourist to Singapore wrote into the Forum pages to say how he too has been noticing this trend over the past few years. It's sad that the fruits of the many campaigns that our parents and the 70s kids like us went through are in vain. Are the kids of today just to spoilt, having not lived through hardship? What can be done? For sure nagging isn't going to help. Stick or carrot? That's the debate that will carry on for time to come.

Monday Blues

It's raining. I'm rotting at home as one of my ex-students puts it. Trying to create my home office but the din of the renovations going on upstairs is driving me up the wall. How to finish my projects?? Halia is all over my stuff and the couch again; she's always trying to amuse herself (and me) in the process. Hang on, she's after one of my ribbons again. Here's a pix of the newest illegal immigrant at home, taken in early Sept or Oct. She's discovered that Sonic's rotan is a fun toy. She's also figured out that when I get dressed, I'm going out and she'll be locked up in my bathroom. Unlike MJ who sleeps all the time, I can't really leave her to roam my room when I am out. Note the embroidery on my quilt cover has been wrecked by the 2 felines. Good thing el cheapo here buys them when Aussino has a sale or during the 40% birthday month privilege.

She's put on some weight since I got her in July, God I hope my dad doesnt read this blog! The top pix is her a week or 2 after I got her. Haveb't quite figured how to lay my blog pix properly! Fat J decided to let himself out to 'sun tan' now that the sun is out. Looking at Munchkin pix in books and webs, wonder if I got fleeced by the pet shop, coz her legs look quite normal to me.

Back to room cleaning...

Pet Peeves

Just endured a icky bus ride on 190. My turn to do public announcement service. If you need to use the PIE to get to Jurong or BKE to BP,CCK or Woodlands, find an alternative. For the PAST 2 DAYS, there's been massive jams on the PIE, leading up to the satellite station. It's one of the unexplainable kind, you know you get real cheesed off in the jam and when you finally get to move, it was over nothing at all? Yeah, well it was one of those today. Yesterday's jam was caused by construction work which cut the 2 lane ramp to a 1 lane ramp. I dont want to imagine what it would be like when it hits the evening 'after work' rush.

Oh yes, Day 2 of my Lowepro Compudaypack road test. Still didnt get round to popping in the camera yet coz I dozed off this am and had to0 take a cab to my meeting. A lil bulky and I swear I got some dirty stares from people for havin such a big bag. Hey but contrary to what my pals think, I have not poked, prodded, killed or knocked into anyone or thing! Just a lil heavy though but that could be the laptop. Hey, all I could afford was a Lenovo and not a Fujitsu lifebook. Bag's useful though and cheaper than a Crumpler.

The lazy cats are on my bed. Fat J about to do what he does best....SLEEP again. Halia's driving me crazy digging into my bag and rubbish can. It's amazin that I've become a cat person in the past 2 years. Cant imagine life without my Zoo!

Oh don't you just hate it when the youngens on the bus decide to turn their MP3s/CD players/HP to speaker mode and treat everyone else to whatever they're listening? Don't get me wrong, I'm the last person to moan about music (except real cheesy stuff) considering what my friends term my bizarre tastes. However, it can get really irritating when you're already 'bus sick' from being stuck in a jam on another bus, to hear real loud muffly musis right behind ya. Experienced that on the TUBE too when this group of teenagers decided to plonk themselves at the door and have an impromptu party. Am I getting old and becoming a fuddy duddy? No, it's just about having a sense of civic conscience.

Would love to blog about nothing but the lil one has decided to do her climb and throw things around stunt. Halia!!!!! Here I go again!

Forgetfulness

I should just jot down my thoughts when I am out on the road whenever an idea for blogging hits me. Darn, now I've gorgotten what I wanted to say. Getting old.

It was nice catching up with my old NIE gang. JYW is lookin great, despite the fact that she just gave birth in July. Her lil baby gal is such a sweet heart! LT is ever the great pal; they've all been great bricks. JYW was just commenting that we've been friends for close to 8 years now. Time flies. She was just sharing with us about life as an expat wife in Italy and how things are awfully inefficient where they're living now. Takes a lot of effort to uproot from home and set off but at least she has her hubby and the new great family to raise. God bless to a real sweetheart of a fren.

Aircon is making weird noises - hope it aint dying on me. Maybe it's just the neighbours upstairs doing reno? I hope it's the latter option. Them kitty kats are running around again - Fat J is looking for grub while the lil Princess is pullin things down, again for the upteenth time today. Almost got busted by Dad this am...Fat J led a recon mission out of my room and Lil Ms Halia decided to follow.

Oh now I remember. Went to the Fair at Hyatt - tai tai life but no tai tai budget, hahaha. Same stuff again and could not find the vendor I missed out on the last Hyatt Fair. However, did get to see Angie, the lady who stocks Nepalese brands like Mitra. Realised that not many local gals like the Indian Gypsy Boho look that I like. Or as my cousin puts it, I am synonymous with. Reasonably priced stuff under $30 and unique pieces. Drop me a comment if you're in Singapore and want to know where to get her.

Had a quick tea break at Delifrance before I got home with the fresh milk dad wanted. They had wifi access but you had to have Singnet access. Sure looking forward to when there's free Wifi around the island. Besides Mac's, only Pacific Coffee Co and O'Briens seems to offer free Wifi. Anyone know where an el-cheapo like me can find other free Wifi sites? Let me know.

Oh now I know what I want to 'biatch' about. I was traipsing around Orchard with the new Lowepro DayCompuPack that D got me yest. Loaded it with the laptop but not the DSLR due to rain. A bit bulky I must say but quite thoughtfully designed. Will road test further. The peeve I have is that I can't seem to find AXS machines around Orchard. Found SAM machines but they are rather limited in functions. Anyone know where to find them around Orchard? Lemme know.

K. Cats are calling for attention. Blogging is addictive but like almost everything I seem to be doing my whole life (with exception of shopping), wonder how long I'll be able to faithfully keep the blogging up.

Have a good evening y'all.

Wardrobe Unlimited

Hung out at Wardrobe Unlimited yesterday, while waiting for the niece to fin work. It's owned by a fren of the niece and is in Katong. Has factory samples and over runs from North American and European brands. Have had great buys from Club Monaco, Abercrombie and even DKNY at prices that won't burst the bank. Lily, the owner has come back from a buying trip in Hong Kong and has brought in limikted designer shoes from Stuart Weitzmann and Di Sandro. She's selling them at reasonable prices (under $200) for quality shoes that would normally cost double or triple the price. What's even neater is the cool Christmas ornaments that she's brought in, many one-of-a-kind pieces that would make any house feel festive this Xmas. Check her out at East Coast Road, opposite the old Katong Police Station.

Oh and the other great thing is that I finally found out where Black Canyon Coffee has moved to since relocating from Serence Centre. It's now at Katong, next to the Katong Plaza. Black Canyon is a Thai chain of cafes that stock great coffee and also fusion Thai food. Heard they are obtaining Halal certification too! Which is always great news so that the sistas and I have a new place to venture should we decide to head East to explore.

Going to meet an old fren who's back for a vacation from Italy, where her hubby n her are living at. Hope she brings her new baby gal along.

All Saints Day

It's All Saints Day... I should be going to Mass but I may or may not do so. Been takin a break from this whole religion thing since the END of. It's hard to reconcile my faith with the conventions of the Church. My family fall into 2 camps, the new age RCs who say that it's between me and God and the traditionalists who say that I can't ever fully take part in the sacraments given my D status. Dilemma and I just don't feel worthy anymore. Wondering if the reason why my professional and emotional life is going awry due to my failure to go back to the right path. (whatever that is)

Will try to nip down to Holy Family to visit mom's niche. Wonder if it's too early to grab a Christmassy flower to leave at the niche. Dad had a puking fit yesterday and I am kinda worried. The erratic weather and all have caused his sinuses to act up. He's put up the brave front again and refuses to see a doc. The older they get, the more stubborn they are. Aiyaya. Well he is reaching 80 and I should be thankful he is relatively healthy but age is catching up and I can't help but worry at times.

Someone asked why the heck I am blogging. Not that anyone will be reading my blog. Myabe it's to practise my writing, maybe it's to think out loud. Haha, perhaps misguided impressions of fame?? Darn, after a month of using the lap top, the desktop key board seems hard to use. Hence the typos or what the ex-big boss used to say 'no attention to fine details'.
Anyone know how I can combine my old blog, which was created under another user id with this one??? Let me know eh!

Oh well... time to get ready for my day at my part-time gig. Later...

Of Polka Dots and Swirls

Happy All Hallow's Eve! (Or Halloween!)

The haze hasnt exactly gone but we are getting a brief respite from intermittent drizzles that we've been getting past few days. A bit of a bother I'd say, coz it now means I have to carry a brolly with me in case of... Hate the foldable kind as they're flimsy but at the ame time, it's convenient. Can't have the best of both worlds I guess. Pretty much like what I'm going through now in my professional life.

Went on a merry little jaunt to Haji Lane this PM after lunch at one of our fav nasi melayu/nasi padang joints at Binjai Park. It's one of the other great makan places at Binjai that's cheap and good - the other is Ivin's of course. Hate to blab about these 2 places for selfish reasons but they're well known and not-very-well-kept secrets. Great ayam goreng, even better than River Valley's. I digress.

Had wanted to grab my daily shot of coffee at Lipstick Bandit but only to find out that it had closed. Not sure if it'll re-open elsewhere as there was no signs left behind. Asked Eileen at Lola but she didn't know either. It was a neat place with good nibbly things and a nice lil place to soak in the flavor of Haji Lane. If I ever get my cash act and ideas together, I'd like a lil cubby hole at Haji Lane too. Though I think having regulars who keep coming back is an important factor in staying alive in the current retail climate. Lola's a great place that stocks some familiar US and designer labels for me. Prices are fairly reasonable and Eileen's real friendly and helpful. Was waiting for Hoity Toity to open so I decided to make a bee-line to Pluck, which is just next door to Lola.

Neat concept of ice cream parlour - it was featured in last week's ST - URBAN and shop. Has a mix of local and foreign stuff, new and vintage. You can surely pick up affordable gifts here. Won't let on what I got in case someone at home reads this blog. Hoity Toity wasnt open so I ended up making a beeline towards the ribbon shop opposite the New Islamic Restaurant (nearer Jln Sultan side on main North Bridge Road). Discovered another ribbon shop on my way there, which I later realised stocks a wider range of ribbons than the original shop I wanted to go to. Lady was friendlier too! Think I shall go there for ribbon purchases in future!!!

Took a bus to Peninsula area - I know, still a little uncomfortable for me as it's too close to my old office. Speaking of which I got a call from one of my ex-colleagues, oh dear hope it aint to haunt me about my old job or something!!! EEEEEKKKK! Still traumatised by it and other ex-ex-colleagues tell me it may take ages to ever heal from it. But that's a story for another time.

Ended up at Stamford House, which I am glad was restored several years ago as it's a grand old building with much character. Of course, my purpose was to check SWIRL out. Had read about it in the same issue of Urban, but more importantly, am on their mailing list from when I bought a ring at MAAD Market a couple months ago. Main purpose was to check out the Dotted Line clothing range which is consigned to the store. When I walked in, I was greeted by a familiar face. One of the partners of the new boutique was a classmate from my NIE days. This makes it 2 ex-NIE classmates who had left and gone on to happy lives as entrepeneurs. Good on you gals! I'm waiting for the day I'll find the chance to go the entrepeneur route.

SWIRL - what words come to mind? Soft, floaty, pastels, romantic... well take a look at the clothes in store and you won't be disappointed if you want something with a special twist. The house label is designed by the two partners and sewn locally. They also carry vintage clothes and accessories so if you're a vintage type of gal, do pop over to SWIRL at Stamford House #02-05 or check out www.ilovetoswirl.com

Ok, so I shouldn't have splurged my 'lifesavings' now that I am on my sabbatical but I could not resist Dotted Line's tweed jacket. May be the good luck charm I need when I go for interviews or meetings for more freelance work. Who knows? Also check out http://dottedlineshop.com for the wonderful creations of Dorothy Loh. Again, an example of the entrepeneur who dares!! It's always a pleasure to support such talents who dare to different in our 'rat race paced' society. It's also this same fear that makes it kind of hard for me to let go to this current state of being. No fixed job and living on finite savings. Must stop going out or retail therapy'll get the better of me.

Gonna quit blogging and look into cleaning up my room and the study to make room for my home office. Need to clear the physical clutter in my house so that the emotional and mental clutter'll also sort itself out. How superstitious or new age eh?

Happy 'trick or treating' to the lil (and not-so-lil) kids out there!

Friends

Did my round of Raya visiting today and caught up with old friends from RSS, who have journeyed with me through the thick and thin. Haven't had a chance to catch up with them, due to all our hectic schedules. With this new 'retirement' I'm in, perhaps I'll get a chance to catch up with them more.

It was nice to be fussed over by my sistas' parents. Each of them had been kept in the loop over my change in career by my gal pals and were very genuine in asking me and encouraging me. Makes up for the fact that my mom ain't with us anymore and also, feels you with a sense of warmth knowing that you belong.

Of course, what is Raya without all the food!!!! Had scrumptious soto and bergedel and home fried shallots garnishing by aurora's mum. Oh and that fabulous dry satay that's not on a stick. Not to mention great cookies, some handmade by my sista! Of course we got to fus over HL's bump, though FHM and I really couldn't distinguish what was what on the 3-D scan of the baby. OOPS!

Festive fare... regardless of the season is always a heart warming time. Thanks friends, you kn ow who you are, for always making my life such a joy!

Therapy and all that...

I had a blog. I started that 2 years ago but work got the better of me and I never quite made it after 3 posts. Forgot that blog addy and passwords and all. Now that I have gone into 'bumhood' for awile, it may be therapy for my soul. I guess I hope to use this platform to track how much I have digressed or grown. I created one for my new kitten Halia and have been racking my brains to remember the passwords, addy etc. Oh well...maybe I should just merge them into 1!

This blog is also a way for me to keep in touch with friends overseas so that they'll never feel too far away from home. It's just musings and ramblings from a compulsive manic...