Inertia

Drakon had an emergency appendectomy last Sunday. I am sure I spelled that wrongly or as I told the English classes I have, I ain't no walking dictionary. That is also the reason why I haven't updated my blog. He's ok and certainly enjoying the attention and the hopsitalisation leave I bet! Amazing how you get bumped up when A&E hears you have appendicitis. Again, I say NUH service seems way better. I took 2 days off from flexi-adjunct, though I felt bad. When I got back to school, everyone was so sweet, asking how I felt.

Hanging out at NUH sure was a little uncomfortable as memories flooded of December. I have moved on a little but still missing dad's goofy comments and hanging out with him.

Someone said that if we miss a person who has gone ahead to the big pie in the sky, that we would be visiting their grave, niche, whatever. I haven't exactly been faithful in visiting mom's niche. Dad was laid to rest there (finally! they took so long to complete the marble slab) on 26 Jan. It was weird seeing mom's urn when they opened up the niche. Fr Cliff came to say a prayer and looked at my mom's smile and said 'The smile is exactly the same.' I knew where he was coming from. Told him I was slowly coming to grips with that.

Now I need to finalise my career path. Just need to take precautions for fear that the Reserves are running low. Retail therapied too much over Xmas and past few days. It's wondering if I want to go back to teaching full time or trying out for other positions. An ex-colleague gave me a lead and wants me to try it out. Fear and lack of confidence is holding me back. I can't seem to think or feel anymore. Like I am wilting away. NOT MUCH MOTIVATION TO DO ANYTHING, really. can't seem to get out of this state. But no one understands. I wish someone did.